Common Mistakes in Filing for Divorce

Try as you might, you have reached the point when you feel your spouse have become the most unbearable person on earth and that your marriage was the worst thing that ever happened in your life. While we're not saying that this is the only reason why you should heavily consider divorcing your spouse, this may sum up the intensity of what you're feeling during the time divorce is up on your sleeve.

Now, you are filing for divorce - and, like most people during the first stage of going through it, you have resolved not to lose control of yourself, your temper or your legal bill.

Most people have abided by these resolutions. They quietly got around the agonizing business of ending their marriage. They have not to spend hours in court. They have avoided using up thousands of dollars in legal bills, and they got through the throbbing heartaches and stigma of the whole thing. They got on with their lives, financially and emotionally intact.

However, there are some people who have strayed to their resolution and commit several mistakes during their divorce process. And given the heavy-emotional burden and the miserable stigma, brought about by divorce, some people have to live with those mistakes for years to come - some, for the rest of their lives.

If you are decisive and responsible enough, you may be able to avoid these common mistakes:

• Giving up control of the divorce - Remember that it's your divorce and not your lawyer's. You are also the one to live through its results.
• Dividing up property without a thorough inventory. Have a thorough inventory of everything you own and owe before beginning the negotiation process.
• Spending too much time and money letting lawyers gather information - As much as possible gather information yourself. You may also exchange information with your spouse through mediation. Try to use a financial preparation kit before going to attorneys or mediators. This may help you calculate the after-tax value of your various financial assets.
• Letting your family or friends tell you what you need, and even sometimes what you should be feeling - Rely on you own judgment since it's your divorce and you are the one to suffer consequences from it.
• Not paying enough attention to taxes. Don't negotiate and reach agreement without thinking through the tax impact of the concessions you're making. Avoid having to face a big tax bill several years after the divorce that you don't know anything about.
• Trying to win back your spouse by being generous. If you realized that you still like to continue the marriage, never try to win your spouse back by "being nice" to him during negotiations and agree to less than what fairness would dictate, fantasizing that he/she will return to you. You may realize your mistake only much later when it's too late to reverse decisions and you may not only have trouble getting over the divorce financially and emotionally.